ANTIFA
This project started out with the concept of anonymity. With my project I wanted to show the power that lies behind the mask, how anonymity can make you stand out more. We are afraid of what we don’t know and will also give more attention to the things that frighten us. However as I have been working on this, the Dutch elections came. The results frighten me and thus my attention is pulled away from my project. I have been working so hard on trying to get through to people by protesting, rioting, campaigning, etc. But after the elections I realised that this country has grown more and more polarised, more racist, more bigoted and I’ve started to doubt my own tactics. Feeling quite lost and afraid I became somewhat self destructive. I spray painted in clear sight of police, hung posters in the most populated areas of the city and provoked any authoritarian figure who disagreed with me. I was ready to be arrested and locked away because I simply lost faith in the fact that I would ever live in a world that accepted me and other minorities. After repeating this pattern for a few days I opened up to a friend of mine and she told me what I needed to hear. I am no good for the world behind bars and I needed to remind myself why I became an activist in the first place.
I realised my activism for the past few weeks was fueled by only anger, anger at the people that want to take my rights and those of others. My motivation was out of balance. Occupied by anger I lost sight of the other ways I stayed motivated. I am trying to go back to passion and community. To not isolate myself and get mad at the world I feel so lonely in sometimes. I feel alienated from my country and my fellow citizens so this is the time to withdraw and focus on my community, where I do feel safe. I was reminded that taking a step back is not a sign of weakness but a motion of strength. I can not change the world alone, nor do I want to. Acceptance and understanding comes out of a place of patience and love, and that is what I have always believed, even if I lost it for a bit. Looking back, the times that I really made people think and really got through to others was with my art. The most successful activism I have done was not breaking windows but opening exhibitions. I will continue to get passion from anger, but not JUST that. I will be empowered by resilience, anger and my community. I want to show the power of standing as an activist, showing the world who you are and what you stand for. So here is my project, an ode to activism. To show the power of standing out and how we can find others like us by speaking up. The mask has become a symbol, not for anonymity but for resilience. That what makes activists so powerful. No more fighting for equality in the shadows. I am ready to face all the hate and all the vulnerability that comes with activism. I have the privilege to speak up, and you bet I will use it.